Trying to dig out...

(Friends from class at The Terminal right after our FINAL final! Tara, me, Mary, & Alissa)

That's what I feel like. I'm trying to dig out from under this pile of "must do's and need to's" I've placed on myself. Why do I do that? Why do we do that to ourselves? I need to do more questions to prep for NCLEX. I need to walk/hoop/do yoga/lose weight/start juicing/minimize. I need to appreciate more/love more/do more/be more. I need to BLOG more. I need to revamp my closet/clean the bathroom/organize everything/declutter the office (that I won't need very soon!!!). I need to get in touch with friends more/see my family more/put myself out there more. Why? Why do I need to do all this? Lon loves me just the way I am. We laugh every single day (quite a bit, actually!) Why, when things really are fine, do I put these pressures on myself that I'm not doing enough? Guess I am my own worst enemy...

Had dinner with a couple of good friends from school last night and their hubbies. We had a great time! One of them has already taken and passed the NCLEX (nice job, Mary!) and the other takes hers right before I do. I'm on track to have done over 6,000 questions in preparation for boards. That's the number I remember them giving us our 1st semester of nursing school. If you add in all the exams I took during school, I'm already well past that. Anyway, I found out yesterday that people from my class are passing boards and did as little as 180 practice questions. WHAT!!! 180??? I'm already over 4,500 with a schedule to do 200/day for the next week and a half. Why am I doing all this again? Can I stop now? No. My brain won't let me. I've had that stupid 6,000 in my head for two years now...how could I possibly stop with all this time left? However, I think if I slow down a bit, take some more time for me (yoga, walk, thrift store shopping???) and maybe hit 150 or so questions/day, I'll still be okay.

I can not wait for boards to be over and done with. When my 'off' days can be all-about-me days. When I have a few days off in a row, we can actually take a little road trip...see the fam or friends. Maybe, finally, go someplace new...like Savannah (are you reading this, Jenn???) We have been in lovely Chattanooga for way too long...we are itching to get moving and see new places, people and things. Three years...we have already been here over three years. Our longest stop yet. And, because I need some real nursing experience before we start our truly nomadic lifestyle (CAN'T WAIT!!!), we'll be here for at least another two. Good God! Five years in one spot...are you kidding me? Don't get me wrong. Chattanooga is a beautiful town. Lots of cool stuff to see and do...but we have seen and done most of it. Time for *new*. We LOVE *new*. Of course, we also do not enjoy summer. HATE this awful heat and humidity. So to move on to a much more temperate climate is something we look forward to as well. Chattanooga is quite pleasant in Spring and Fall...and Winter is almost bearable, but Summer...not a fan. When you start to sweat just by walking out your front door...how is that fun? Love being close to my family, but looking forward to saying 'See ya!' to the SE. At least for a bit. Ready to experience everything else this gorgeous country has to offer (yes, I realize I still have two years, but I'm ready!)

However...I do have wonderful things to say about work. I love working with my patients! And my coworkers are great too. :D Wow...did I ever think I'd say such a thing? No...but so glad I can. Part of me wishes I had realized how much I'd enjoy this when I was still in the Navy...let them put me through school and pay me to be an officer. No student loans to pay back. More money. But I don't regret a single moment since I left the military...how could I? I've enjoyed the last 11 years immensely and I got to marry my best friend...and I wouldn't change that for anything! Now look how much fun we're going to have! And I still have friends from the Navy that we can visit (and we'll even bring our own bedroom!) In fact, together we have friends/family that span the entire country...what a fun bonus to traveling and exploring...getting to visit and hang with good friends along the way.

Hopefully, this long, rambling post has made up a little for the lack of posting the last few months. The NCLEX is almost here and then the studying will be behind me. Life will be working, hooping, blogging, reading, road tripping, and moving forward towards that next chapter...how fun!